46 posts (well now 47) into the project. I deleted a post for the first time last night even though I had wanted to delete other ones but never did. It wasn’t even that bad but I thought it sounded too whiny. It was. I want to be more positive. I told myself to at least keep a copy of the text and I meant to, but then I was tired and deleted it from my site and forgot to copy the text. I’d been keeping copies of all of the texts until a few days ago, which I realise is because I haven’t been posting them to social media. I haven’t been posting many pictures as they just all seem bad, which they are, but I will tell myself 10 more times that that is not the point.
Mentally I feel loads better, which I think is down to being busy and having this project to push negative energy towards. I’m trying to limit my social media time again as I feel like it is a big waste of time and I should be doing other things. I had a good phase not long ago of not getting wrapped up in social media and the news, though I guess I can blame politics and attacks for breaking that…
I just had a look and yesterday’s picture was in my site’s trash. I had to restore it to copy the text, so I did. I’m going to leave it there… for now. 47. 48 now.
My back is a bit tight after a weekend of carrying a lot of gear. Was going to go for a massage tomorrow (I’ve only ever had one before, I feel like I need to point this out) and I was about to pay for it when I saw a box that asked how much I wanted to tip. This made me feel uncomfortable. I would rather tip after the massage as I thought the point of tips was that you tip depending on the service. If I don’t tip beforehand will they give me a bad massage, even though I would tip after? Would they judge me if I tipped 10% instead of 15%? I find tips uncomfortable in general. I’ve never worked in a job where tips are given. This combined with feeling awkward about a stranger touching and potentially judging my body made me not book it.